Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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