Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
