Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I wish there were birth control emojis
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
