There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
