and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
