am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
