yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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