He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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