Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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