just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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