Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
