I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
