Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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