you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
