i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
