You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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