But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
