I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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