at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
