i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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