What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
