its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
