Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
