the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
