We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
