it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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