I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
