Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
