i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
