i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
