Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
