She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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