My hand turned me down
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
