I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
