Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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