these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
