You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I looked at my own cervix.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
