I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
