Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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