Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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