ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
