how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
