I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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