Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
