I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
