It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
