He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
