I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
