Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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