we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
