Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
