I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
