She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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